Value

To anybody who may need this,

We are living in a time that feels unfamiliar, yet not entirely unusual either. With undoings of monumental work and a constant uneasiness in the background, everyone’s minds are on what may be the next thing to possibly go wrong. I myself am not immune; my mind spirals more often than not and my own body feels as if it’s in preparing-for-a-crisis mode. And on a random Tuesday morning, another unprecedented announcement became my newest reality check. 

I was at my little office desk at my work-study, when I received an email about the newest edition of our department newsletter. The first article was an announcement, with the following statement being the opening line:

“As of [date redacted], I have received notice that my federal grant will be discontinued after the current budget year.”

Reading those words was like one of those movie scenes; everything around you felt slower and/or frozen, while your mind was running at the speed of light. The head of my program, a man of great integrity with a reputation for trying to ease the inequality of care, was doing his best to eloquently deliver the unexpected news. Though his words were professional, I can only imagine the heartbreak he must have felt. The individual who did his best to provide a helping hand instead had to forcefully give us the bitter medicine to swallow. 

The funds that helped maintain a mental health partnership were now gone. And regardless of if you were involved in the project or not, this update was catapulting all of us into a harsh, new normal. 

On paper, the funds were used to support research into mental health care access for a high-need community. But truthfully, it was so much more than that. It provided a helping hand to a group constantly knocked down. It was the North Star to help guide those stuck in a dark, treacherous maze. It allowed resources to flow into an area that was in emotional drought. It acknowledged the persistent inequalities of treatment, validating the cries of help that were often unheard/unseen, and gave hope that change may be coming.

A simple message that made the most profound statement: someone actually cared for them. 

And now, we are forced to take it all away. Betray them just like the predecessors. It’s the unfortunate norm in this area, it’s why they often refuse external help. It’s another repetition of history. But only this time, they believed we may be the ones that would actually stay. And while our leave is not of our own accord, we inevitably will cause more harm than good. 

We are not the sole exception; funds are disappearing before we can blink an eye. Not just for mental health, but for topics far and wide. 

The environment is being abandoned by research; our planet may have many more years before it dies, but it is already collapsing. Our hands took advantage of our precious world, leaving devastating damage in its wake. Climate change is making the planet’s temperature rise. Earth’s high fever isn’t breaking anytime soon. The lush greenery of flora and fauna are being replaced by either the shades of dried-up browns and/or the palette of mechanical metallics. Ocean waves are crawling higher up the shorelines, almost like monsters trying to grab our ankles and drag us into the dark abyss. But now, we cannot look into the necessary aid to help find ways to assist and/or solve any of these issues, no longer giving a chance to make our environment come back down to a sense of normality, all because these issues are not an “urgent concern.”

Diversity is the reason why this country can thrive; a melting pot of cultures helped shape the fifty-plus states and territories into cities, towns, and hidden treasures. The wide array of backgrounds, cultures, and life stories added complexities, character, and integrity to every aspect of our global superpower. And yet, our nation has failed at honoring that. Communities, groups, people have been oppressed for generations and constantly been told that they are never going to have a chance to succeed and thrive. The Indigenous community of this land are working to preserve their rightful home and cultures, fighting to gain back their name and autonomy. The “American Dream” is the reason why many people come here to build a life, but immigrants are always treated as “less than” rather than “just as important as” or “the reason why our country can keep afloat.” The financial support to help uplift people has been snatched away, making many have to rely solely on their dignities once again. 

Love is supposed to be unconditional, but limits are being imposed on what “acceptable” love can be. A rainbow that came from a lavender storm, a beautiful gift of light amidst the darkness of fear and hatred. Tender gazes, comforting embraces, subtle hand-holding are such innocent declarations of affection, but had to be done in-secret for so long. Coming out as the authentic version of yourself was a bet on both genuine relief and losing everything, that still is the unfortunate reality for many. Acceptance varies via each story, but under the rainbows of blues, pinks, purples, yellows, and more, the sense of belonging rings ever so true. Pride. We have worked tirelessly towards universal acceptance, now the threat to sanction love is worse than ever. The constant fight to love authentically; it may not be Romeo and Juliet, yet it feels like a similar fate. 

The simplest concepts of humanity have been ignored over and over in history. Women are having to advocate for their most basic rights, though human decency should be simple. Teachers have been asking to get the simplest form of recognition, those who are critically ill have been pleading for the simplest needs of care, students are begging for the simplest ways towards higher education, parents are requesting for simplest forms of time. 

And here we are, still wanting to be treated as decent humans, simple as that.  

All of these changes are happening and we are trying to figure out how to prevent further damage. But it is easy to feel helpless; we cry until the tears run dry and we yell until our voice goes hoarse. 

The ever-growing gap is becoming far too wide. We no longer just see the differences in privilege and inequity, we feel it. We are told to dream big and work towards our goals, but whenever we do our best to get closer to them, the world pushes us back. Our visions for the best versions of ourselves and our world are drifting further away, we are constantly pushing towards something that this cruel state of society merely dangles in front of us. We are forced to run a marathon for our well-being and even then, rewards are only given to those who have won before. 

We ask over and over again the same question, “Why?” It often goes unanswered, though we know they had heard the message. We are trained to make a scene to get someone’s attention, as ignoring the questions and/or calls for change meant that we were forced to get louder to get a response. And that response? 

“It doesn’t align with our values.”

That is not good enough. 

I am not one to talk back; my family taught me to be respectful, as that was one of their values. I am also someone who fears confrontation and chooses kindness over arguments, that’s one of my values. These days, however, I feel as if I have no choice but to confront, as we all have been backed into a corner; we either defend and stand up for ourselves, or we will be beaten down in more ways than one. And that is a value we have to ingrain into our lives. 

So, please talk to me. Enlighten me on what your values and views are then. Because for me, I ask, what values do you have if you are taking away all of the essential elements that truly matter? 

We are not looking for a fight or an argument; we are just desperate to understand why. 

We may not be a monolith, but we are something beautiful. The multitude of individuals, identities, and experiences enrich our world and help make stories that can carry on to the next generation. We all develop our own moral compasses and while we may all end up on different journeys, we all should be sharing the same basic morals: kindness, compassion, empathy, solidarity, and coexistence. Making all of us fall under the same umbrella and follow the same path will not guarantee harmony. It instead silences our true passions and voices, forces us to conform to what we do not want to be, and loses what makes individuals individual. 

I say all of this to not just share my own fears, but to also be sincere. Because I worry; I worry that certain identities, passions, groups, topics, and more are being forced into oblivion, maybe some even wishing it was forgotten in total. And the truth is, there is a major narrative that most of this is worthless. 

Pushing that you are worthless.

That we are worthless.

We may be hurting deeply; hearts are breaking and minds aren’t processing it all. But trust me when I say, you are not worth any less in my eyes. 

In fact, you mean so much more to me.

I wish I could say that we’ll be okay. But the hard truth is that none of us can guarantee what tomorrow will bring, even if we may have a dark sense of what lies ahead. The only thing I can do is make promises that I can keep.

I promise that I will validate everything about you.

I promise that I will do everything to make sure you feel loved by at least one person.

I promise that I will be one good thing in your life. 

I promise that I will not forget you. 

With love,

Someone like you. 

Author: Anonymous

Editors: Alisha B., Luna Y.

Image Source: Markus Spiske, Unsplash